Letter
from a parent
Dear
Dr. Smith:
First, thank you again for your continuing interest
in Sammy's progress. As I mentioned on the phone, I am still grateful
for your unmitigated support in spite of the fact that Sammy has only
been a patient for such a short time.
As to Sammy, he is doing very well and, as I mentioned,
it is obvious to all of us who have known him for all of his life, he
has made enormous strides since graduating from Boarding school. He
has chosen to attend a competitive college in the Midwest, where he
is now a sophomore. While his academic performance is far below his
ability, he has created for himself a rich and active campus life. He
has a group of good friends and is involved in several extra-curricular
activities, which are rather impressive. He has also decided on what
it is that he would like to be doing in the future and seems to be focused
on his goal.
I believe that what has made the difference for
us, especially for me, was the fact that I have complete confidence
in the person who helped us find Valley View. It was the knowledge that
this is not just a place we chose because of someone else's good experience,
but that it had been chosen specifically with Sammy in mind. It was
the end result of a careful review and followed a process of elimination
of other options. I am convinced that the pains which went into the
very personalized efforts to find just the right place for Sammy, in
the end did not get lost on him. It also allowed me, the anguished parent,
to get past the guilt and trepidation of "farming my kid away from home".
I am handing all this to Mr. Tom Croke, whose highly capable intervention
made the difference for Sammy.
Tom Croke is a cross between a child and adolescent
social service professional and an educational consultant. He is a consummate
professional who does not second guess the parents' expectations or
anxieties in order to "make a sale". It was interesting to watch Sammy's
reaction to Tom Croke.
Sammy knew innately that this man might very well
bring about his being sent away from home (and you will remember how
he felt about that...!!!). Nevertheless, he realized real quickly that
he will not be able to manipulate or con Tom vis-a-vis his problems
at school or at home. At the same time, it was obvious that Sammy has
a genuine respect for Tom and trusts him.
Tom Croke's "home visit" included a very thorough
and comprehensive examination of every school record which I ever received
about Sammy, of every testing procedure and of every report by a therapist.
He spent hours with Sammy and some time with me. At the end of the process,
he seemed to have as good a handle on Sammy's problems as I have and
certainly a much better one than most school psychologists with whom
we had the dubious honor to consult. One of the impressive points of
Mr. Croke was the fact that he has been brutally frank about pros and
cons of the various schools we had reviewed. He also tried to respond
to Sammy's fear of going away to school and reviewed some schools in
the New York area.
Mr.
Croke arranged for us to receive materials from all the schools which
seemed to be viable possibilities for Sammy. He participated actively
in the process of choosing the right one with endless patience and unlimited
accessibility. He continued to receive copies of Sammy's grades and
reports from Valley View and at times served as my sounding board when
some issue surfaced with Sammy at the School which needed my intervention.
As I have told you in the past, I wish I knew about this earlier.
I hope that this helps you and your patient.
Sincerely,
A Parent